Urine Sample #9: On Time

They should have been more professional. I mean, don’t they think about how goddamn valuable time is?

Let’s see:
April 20. Executive committee meeting scheduled 5:30PM. The president arrived 6:20. Doubted if they had started right away.

April 21. Planning sem. Should meet at 5PM. But the internal vice president was just about to start playing Frisbee. They arrived 7:15PM.

Darn officers.

Darnn…

Urine Sample #8: I'm Sore(y)

I sleep very late but I always manage to wake up early. He usually sleeps earlier than I do but most of the time wakes up later than I do. Sometimes, that kind of thing sores the hell of me.

I don’t know. I just hit the temperature today. I woke up at 7, texted him at 10 that I’ll be going to a PC shop (assuming that he’s already awake, for it’s goddamn late), told him to go online, and to save credit asked him not to reply.

Then bad luck had just blocked my way. The café I used to go to will not be open until 12PM, and I grunted at the one next to it (with no aircon at all and filled with down town kids that smelled like rusty metals).

I don’t have enough bucks so I walked my way home. I felt very irritated with the faucet at my back. I could swear its hell.

So that’s it. I texted him as soon as I got home, telling him this and that blah blah blah. It was childish, I swear, but I really hit the temperature when I found out that he’s still snoring all this time. I almost hated him. I swear it was childish. But you could really hit the temperature with that situation.

So what I did, bullied him with a petty fight. We kept exchanging messages: he kept on being sweet, submissive and all and I kept on bullying him. But I could tell you, he almost lost his temper with me. I really can be so brat when I feel like it, And then I flooded him with I-hate-you’s. But what he did was, he said I really don’t hate him, he said I’m just missing him that’s why I’m acting so childish and all. God could he be so cute I smiled. But still, I kept on sending I-hat-you’s, and he kept on saying I-love-you-more. It kills me. Then there is one message saying “Mahal na mahal kita, mahal ko ang kasupladahan mo, pagkabratinela, at mga tantrums mo. Mahal na mahal kita.”. Boy, it really knocked me out.

Take a guy like Louis as your boyfriend, and say you had a lousy fight and you kept on pampering the fight and kept on sending him I-hate-you’s, what he’ll do, he’ll tell you that you don’t really hate him and he’ll show you how much he loves you. God, could he be so great.
I was sort of sorry I bullied him the whole day. Good thing we ended meeting each other at a mall.

Darn I’m such a lucky girl.

Urine Sample #7: ?

I am not good at anything. And I just can’t find something to be good at… Except from loving him, I guess. But loving is way beyond the question. I don’t know, I just suck at everything. And as I say everything, I mean everything. And oh no! I don’t just suck at everything… I suck! Yes! That’s why people look at me as a kid with nothing to accomplish. That’s right. They think I can do nothing, absolutely nothing. They think they can’t trust anything to me… No, they don’t just think about it. They do it.

Maybe it was my fault though. I don’t trust myself too. And I do think too that I can’t do anything, definitely.

Oh! This damn self-esteem is going way too far down.

It’s a horse shit! Cai can’t be good at anything at all, not even in writing, academics, blogging, socializing, being a CURSOR member, being a daughter, a girlfriend, and I’m not very sure if I am a good friend, or INFO mem for less. Cai just sucks.

What else can I be good at? Nothing.

There are a lot of things I want to do. But there seems to be something that’s stopping me from doing those things. I just don’t know what and why. Better put, there are things I want to do that I can’t do. Darn.

There are certain reasons why, but people don’t understand.
Neither does me.

Whenever I start to write, I stop. I just can’t think of anything to write at all.

I suck!
Life is a shit!!!
Boo Cai! Booo!!!