when you're older

My mom used to tell me when I was young: "You'll understand when you're older."

I am older now. But still, I don't understand. And I will be a year older again in few days. I dunno, it's never a big deal. But really, when your birthday is coming up, you tend to get really touchy.

So I'm having my birthday soon. And as I assess the days from my previous birthday, I am wondering if I have been a better person. I guess I have, I'd like to think that way.

So what has changed?

Job. I have a new job. Or maybe soon I would call this a career, it all depends on how I would perceive things on the coming months. I still want to retire early in my 30's, settle down before I get white hairs, and publish a book before I bid this world goodbye. And the easier way to do that is to get my money up - and by that I mean have 6-digit salary a month before I hit 25. Sounds like a plan - afar from realistic one. But that also means I would have to be a corporate whore first, jumping from one company to another.

Relationship with teh family. I have never been the best daughter, ever. But I'd like to think I am still better than half of other children out there, who are jobless and (or not jobless but) could only care about themselves. My relationship with my mom has improved as compared to last year's - it was not the best years of our lives together. But we're good now, at least for most of the time. I love her, I may not say this to her as often as I would want to, but yes I love her. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. I owe everything to her. And I would only want her happiness, that's why I won't hold her plans of being with the person she loves - even if that means my mom would be thousands of miles away from me.

I still haven't heard from my dad. I know, I know. It's been breaking my heart but I could only do as much. I miss him.

My friends. There's a lot of storms I wouldn't have surpassed if not for them. I may have been not too blessed with having a family of my own, but I am abundant with friends. I have friends from everywhere, though they can make a country of their own when you get them together, I only keep few people too close. There's Malen and Melai who have been there for me through the worst nightmares of my life. There's my bestfriend Mitch who - though we don't really spend too much time with each other the past years - haven't fade even a single thread. She can always make me feel loved. She deserves a separate post, really. And of course, my best buddy of all time - Louis. What could I say? He may have not been the best boyfriend before, but he is the best friend I could ever have. Thanks, dude!