The Male Ego or the lack thereof ( on my attempt to understand )

“A man’s ego is vulnerable, especially (but not exclusively) to a woman he finds value in, such that he could be crushed, even by accident. Crushed meaning he gets into a rut wherein he never accesses his emotions.”

“The very same ego that could be crushed by the tone of a woman’s voice, can also drive the man perform some of the most heroic, selfless, and bordering on miraculous acts ever imagined. It is this same ego that when faced with peril, impossibility, or certain doom, says, “Like Hell…” and runs into the flames.”

I want to share this article I read - The very fragile, excessively powerful and complex male ego. I was searching earlier for stuff about the male ego and I can actually relate to this one because I’ve experienced it first hand. No not because I have male ego, sheesh, but because I’ve been at the receiving end of the big E attack.

In addition to what is already known about ego, it is also the fear that in the end - after all the efforts done, after all the pain inflicted, after all he ever had was drained and gone - he would still have amounted to nothing. This is why he have to accomplish to deny his own nothingness - the constant effort to achieve, excel, to please, to accommodate - and respect and affirmation are what he needs to salvage himself.

When you treat a woman like she’s nothing, it hurts her because she thinks that’s injustice. But when you treat a man like he’s nothing, it is not the injustice or moral indignation that hurts him but a personal hurt about the truth. So if you abuse a woman, for example in a relationship, she can go on for years telling herself that she deserves or doesn’t deserve it. He can’t do that. Because that is NOT the issue, not the “I deserve this”/”I don’t deserve this” but “Am I? or Am I not”. For a man, if you abused him ( cause him pain, subject him to great pressure, betray him et cetera ) then “he’s not” and he will never take that, he can’t be diminished to nothing and go on because you can never go on if you’re nothing.

A woman’s struggle is to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be treated accordingly. His, on the other hand, is the constant desperate want to be recognized, to prove himself. And he will feel the need to achieve and be something. What he’ll consciously or subconsciously do is bury all the emotions deep into the recesses of his psyche, all emotions but anger, because for him anger is the only valid emotion. That’s why he is aggressive, because the means to acquire is aggression, and only through acquisitions will he prove that he is something.

His ego is fragile. He is more fragile than she is. If you say “boo”, it falls apart. This is where humility comes handy. He should stop trying to cover up the emptiness, to fear that he is nothing. Thing is, accept the truth. Then start working from there.