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Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who broke your heart. Remember the only reason he can miss you is because he is choosing, everyday, not to be with you.
-Greg Behrendt

Whats and whatnots

Sometimes it's not helping that I've gone through different relationships already. I may be too young but yeah, I had my own share. Relationship, when not handled properly, brings all the hell to your life. But otherwise, it makes heaven a place on this friggin' earth.

I could have started telling you sad [cliche] stories of love and broken promises, or start nagging about how girls should be treated, or give some perspective on how to understand the male partner. I could even tell you that your friggin' problem with your girlfriend or boyfriend could not amount to the world's antrocities and hell. I know, I know, I am being rude here. But yes.

I want to share with you how I managed to get to the office safely [last Friday], despite the heavy down pour of rain. I want to share how I overspent 25 grand in just a couple of days. More importantly, I want to share how I was able to survive horrors you couldn't really imagine.

But thing is, I could only tell you that. You may or you may not listen, what difference would that make? And besides, I'm not in the friggin' mood to rant about things, may it be frustrations or a little sharing of wisdom. Because really, you need to have the mood to start showing off what your tiny little stooooopid life comprises of. More often than not, you'll end up telling nobody anything.

And so, yeah, I'm telling you nothing.

The Male Ego or the lack thereof ( on my attempt to understand )

“A man’s ego is vulnerable, especially (but not exclusively) to a woman he finds value in, such that he could be crushed, even by accident. Crushed meaning he gets into a rut wherein he never accesses his emotions.”

“The very same ego that could be crushed by the tone of a woman’s voice, can also drive the man perform some of the most heroic, selfless, and bordering on miraculous acts ever imagined. It is this same ego that when faced with peril, impossibility, or certain doom, says, “Like Hell…” and runs into the flames.”

I want to share this article I read - The very fragile, excessively powerful and complex male ego. I was searching earlier for stuff about the male ego and I can actually relate to this one because I’ve experienced it first hand. No not because I have male ego, sheesh, but because I’ve been at the receiving end of the big E attack.

In addition to what is already known about ego, it is also the fear that in the end - after all the efforts done, after all the pain inflicted, after all he ever had was drained and gone - he would still have amounted to nothing. This is why he have to accomplish to deny his own nothingness - the constant effort to achieve, excel, to please, to accommodate - and respect and affirmation are what he needs to salvage himself.

When you treat a woman like she’s nothing, it hurts her because she thinks that’s injustice. But when you treat a man like he’s nothing, it is not the injustice or moral indignation that hurts him but a personal hurt about the truth. So if you abuse a woman, for example in a relationship, she can go on for years telling herself that she deserves or doesn’t deserve it. He can’t do that. Because that is NOT the issue, not the “I deserve this”/”I don’t deserve this” but “Am I? or Am I not”. For a man, if you abused him ( cause him pain, subject him to great pressure, betray him et cetera ) then “he’s not” and he will never take that, he can’t be diminished to nothing and go on because you can never go on if you’re nothing.

A woman’s struggle is to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be treated accordingly. His, on the other hand, is the constant desperate want to be recognized, to prove himself. And he will feel the need to achieve and be something. What he’ll consciously or subconsciously do is bury all the emotions deep into the recesses of his psyche, all emotions but anger, because for him anger is the only valid emotion. That’s why he is aggressive, because the means to acquire is aggression, and only through acquisitions will he prove that he is something.

His ego is fragile. He is more fragile than she is. If you say “boo”, it falls apart. This is where humility comes handy. He should stop trying to cover up the emptiness, to fear that he is nothing. Thing is, accept the truth. Then start working from there.

Rebranding. From Pink Urinal to Pink Delta

Because I already have two blogs with the same name ( Pink Urinal ), I decided to "rebrand" this blog.

Pink Delta is a collection of journal entries ( called delta ). You can ask Webster and he'll agree to my definition, heee. But seriously, the idea was basically the same with Pink Urinal's. Big difference is delta used to be a confession type of journal entry when I was in high school. I used to keep journals back then and one of it ( the pink delta ) contains writings about sexual identity crisis and guilty thoughts on homosexual conquest.

I already have a pink delta blog but it is rarely updated ( and it is far from a femme blog ). If you are interested to read the old deltas, feel free. There are only a couple of them.

So what to expect from the coming posts? I don't know yet. Let's see. ;)

Coming back

Hello there!!

I will try to revive this blog. I hope you can still join me. :)

See ya all!