I go back
... to writing poems and prose
... to kickboxing and aerodance
... to my daily beauty regimen
... to church services
... to reading books and blogs
... to dreaming, to dealing, to loving.
Because there's so much good things happening in life and I just can't miss them.
---
I raped my room last night. I was too stoned to sleep. So I started digging old stuff, reading old letters and reminiscing old times. Soooper dami ko pala talagang kaibigan. And I felt good reading what they had to say about me. I may have been a failure to my most recent ex partner, but with my friends at least I know I was not.
By the way, I bought four new nail colors. I missed the old times when I used to clean my own nails and apply my own polish.
---
Hindi magandang hobby ang kalungkutan. Manahi ka o kaya gumawa ng longganisa.
Go away. Then go back.
12/22/08
Posted by Cai at 22.12.08 1 comments
Labels: delta, random thoughts
Repost: Short note
12/19/08
original post ( 2 June 2008 ):
i will take no reasons to love you.
so when the time that reasons cease to exist, there will be no reason to not love you.
edited:
i can list all reasons to hate you.
but hating you for things done and not done will never mean that i stop loving you.
Posted by Cai at 19.12.08 0 comments
Labels: delta
Aquarius
12/7/08
I'm not a skillful water carrier, but I have learned to carry love.It's only this weekend that I get to really appreciate this song by Regina Spektor. How could I not see, it's beautiful!
Aquarius
Regina Spektor
Dear someone listening in the shadows,
I only talk to you sometimes.
And though I ask for help in riddles,
it is, clearer in my mind, clearer in my mind.
Born of a sign that carries vessels,
but in a month as cold as ice.
I know I question things too quickly,
but I have never questioned if I've loved, loved.
Dear someone watching from the shadows,
I'm clenching water in my fists.
The droughts they slip right through my fingers,
but there's water on my lips, water on my lips.
Born of a sign that carries vessels,
but in a month that brings just ice.
I know I question things too quickly,
but I've never wondered if I've loved, loved.
Dear someone watching from the shadows,
you've seen me lose all the water from my hands.
I'm not a skillfull water carrier,
but the raindrops keep falling on my head,
falling on my head.
Born of a sign that carries water,
but in a month that brings just ice.
I'm not a skillfull water carrier
but I've, learned to carry love,
learned to carry love.
I'm not a skillfull water carrier,
but I've learned to carry love.
Posted by Cai at 7.12.08 1 comments
Labels: musicology
3:00am
12/2/08
It's already three in the morning. I have been up all day; been wandering around like a headless chicken. I should be feeling a bit tired by now but I still have so much excess energy I'd want to use for cuddling and hugging and kissing. But I could only kiss pictures and hug pillows. That's all I have for now; pillows and pictures, a cute little bear, and of course, memories that I could only remember. Nothing really solid to hold on to, not even a brittle promise that everything will turn out well. I can't even be an optimist and be hopeful that somewhere out this crazy bumpy road is a sane intersection that would lead me to a happier place. I can't. I need to be sure and steady. Sure and steady. And it's draining all my energy. Every morning is a challenge to wake up. Everyday is a constant effort to be strong. Every night is a bad dream to endure. But I need to survive this. I need to.
I'm not really feeling any pain right now. I just want to hug out this excessive-ness. Or I'd rather say this emptiness.
Posted by Cai at 2.12.08 0 comments